An interview with my trans son

Yesterday, a billboard went up in Wellington, commissioned by Speak Up For Women. It was there for about 24 hours, before being removed today.

You might remember SUFW from classic hits like hosting the writing of Rachel Stewart. Stewart is an ex-columnist who recently tweeted about stripping naked and hunting with guns a trans rights supporter. She later claimed it was a joke, despite a striking absence of laughter, particularly from the New Zealand Police, as they confiscated her firearms.

I've been writing about this stuff for several days, taking the perspective that shooting people is a bad thing. As I've said before, I thought the Stewart behaviour would spark SUFW to distance itself from her, quicker than they'd drop a hot potato, only potatoes have more political savvy.

Nope: in a comment on one of my posts, a SUFW spokeswoman confirmed Stewart's writing will remain on the SUFW website. Another spokeswoman was asked whether, in a debate, she would argue that SUFW supports violence against trans people's supporters. The spokeswoman replied, “You’ll find out. Don’t want to spoil the ending. I’ve been invited to a live debate.” I've asked SUFW leaders whether other comments left on my posts, including one denying the Holocaust and another calling trans people 'sneaky disease spreading rodents', are from SUFW supporters.

SUFW routinely complain about being smeared, so I've given them the opportunity to clarify that the views of their supporters are compatible with public safety. I continue to wait, but I'll publish any response I get.

In the meantime, I've been fielding unwelcome comments and messages from people who appear to support SUFW, despite making clear these are unwelcome, and I'm aware one of their supporters has made a complaint to the employer of someone who commented, objecting to their views. Because there's nothing batshit about that!

However, these negatives are outweighed massively by comments and messages from the ones who've reached out in love and solidarity. Also macaroons. When those bad boys arrived, I truly knew I'd picked the right team.

Stewart's tweet didn't turn out to be the PR masterstroke it might first have appeared. Since then, the building distrust of SUFW seems to have become something closer to a tide. SUFW will meet in Wellington's Michael Fowler Centre this week. They have a history of litigation against councils who've stood in support of their rainbow communities by trying to refuse SUFW's applications to use their premises.

Instead, the Wellington City Council will light up the Michael Fowler Centre in the colours of the trans flag, bathing the meeting's three attendees in pink, blue and schadenfreude.

Still worse for SUFW, when the media company that hosted the short-lived billboard took it down, they commented that it didn't fit with the company's pro-diversity stance, and might be in breach of Advertising Standards Authority codes. It's almost as if billboards by groups that host writing by people who make homicide-themed social media posts aren't good for business.

But what the hell would I know? I'm just a middle-aged cis lady who doesn't feel existentially threatened by other people's entirely harmless gender identities. To get to the critical issues, I interviewed E, my trans son.

Me: "How do you feel, love?"

E: "Fine, this is just really funny."

Me: "If we’re talking about what’s funny, what about Rachel Stewart's tweet? EH?"

E: "Mmm. Funny. Good one."

E again: "They [SUFW] claim they've been smeared for three years."

Me: "Aren’t you supposed to have smears every three years?"

E: "I don’t think it’s supposed to last the whole three years."

That's pretty much where we left it.

I've been told it's unclassy to say 'I told you so'. Apparently, that also extends to HA HA UR A DICK LOL.

But I don't think I even need to. In the last year, Aotearoa has stared down an actual existential threat. All five million of us. The cis ones, the trans ones. We looked out for one another, and because we did, today we stand strong.

You can make your billboard as big as you want, raise it to the sky, but it's the calibre of the message that matters. Some words will only ever be small.