If you're at a loose end this Monday evening

We were watching telly on the couch.  E, then a young teenager, told me he was non-binary.  

There wasn't much to be said except 'I love you', or much to be done except hug.  And then we kept watching the telly, my arm around him.  I'd only got used to they/them pronouns when, a few weeks later, my kid became he/him.  He's been my son ever since.  

Sounds easy, doesn't it?  

I've had the lovely surprise of being invited onto a Zoom panel, this Monday at 6pm. 

Rainbow Hub Waikato and White Ribbon have teamed up to create a new resource, Kids and gender, and 29 November is the launch.  The panellists - a bunch of parents from around the motu - are going to talk with love about raising our rainbow kids: takatāpui, gay, non-binary, trans.      

Yesterday, we met online for a practice run, went through what each of us plans to say.  The good souls of Rainbow Waikato wrangled us gently, nurturing our confidence, as we talked awkwardly to our screens.   

I am going to speak about being a bit useless.  

I wanted so bad to be that parent who effortlessly took it in her stride.  The strength of my love was meant to carry the day: an uncomplicated end to a made-for-TV movie, followed by crappy yellow credits.      

But I wasn't that parent, not always.  I mean, I didn't lack for love.  But I stumbled, felt doubt; and sometimes that doubt turned to guilt.  But I also learned.  It took the wisdom and kindness of others, but I learned: am still learning.  And yeah, I do OK. 

That's what I want to say.  If this is you, then maybe for you too the movie is not uncomplicated.  Maybe you're the hero one day, but only a bit part - or even worse, comic relief - the next.  And the crappy yellow credits will never roll, because the story of your love for your child will never end. 

But your love will carry the day, you better believe it.  In this movie, you've got a hell of an important role - key to the plot, even. With you, the main character will sparkle, shine, even steal the show.  

If you'd like to support Rainbow Hub Waikato and White Ribbon, and give us parents a little boost, register here - or watch us online later.  See you around.