In the sordid tango that is Collins vs Bridges, this is the misstep I can't forgive

Here's what's bothering me.

Simon Bridges did something inappropriate at a function five years ago.  There were consequences.

I don't know what Bridges said, and I'm not defending him.  I don't know if it was bad enough to deserve being dredged up again - whatever the motives of the dredger.  I can't say if it was dealt with at the time, or swept under the rug.

Don't ask me to pick a side in Collins vs Bridges.  Don't ask me if I prefer Marmite or Vegemite.  Sometimes all the options are sticky, brown and unpleasant.  

What I care about is the woman who made the complaint.  As far as I can tell, she didn't ask for this reprisal.  She said she's upset by today's events and has asked for privacy.

The complainant matters here.  

Making a complaint is hard.  I've never attended an event with National party folks, and I can't imagine doing so, unless they needed a piñata.  But I can guess.  Privilege works the same in every group of every stripe.  When you've been told to toe the party line, drawing your own line instead takes guts.

Complainants need the opportunity to be heard in a discreet way, if that's what they wish.  

Yes, Collins is guilty of brazen muckraking.  But it's worse than that.  

By weaponising a complaint, she disrespected the complainant - and made things that much harder for the next complainant.  That one who is sitting, wondering, should they speak out or stay silent?

And it is this misstep - in the whole sordid tango that is Collins vs Bridges - that I can't forgive.