Joining the club, after it's stopped being exclusive

I had the slightest tickle of symptoms yesterday.  A friend was in town with his family, and we talked about catching up.  I wasn't sure, so I mentioned what I thought was my mild sniffle, and he decided to play it safe.  He was with a parent who has health issues.

This was a sliding doors moment.  If I'd trusted my instinct - which told me I just had a teeny cold - my actions could have had serious, maybe even catastrophic, consequences for another person.  And I would have had to live with that.

So I've been doing some reflecting, from my bed, with a ring of snotty tissues around me.  My rational brain always urges me to listen to experts.  But my optimism bias wants to be a dick about it.  After all, I hardly go anywhere, and when I do, I follow the rules.  My optimism bias tells me I'll be fine, because I'm special.

Well, guess what.  I'M NOT SPECIAL. 

I'm a bit scared, to be honest, but for now I'm doing OK.  Feeling shite at 2:30am gave me a chance to ponder all the protective things I have in my corner - from access to vaccines, to the public health measures that kept me safe for over two years, to the incredible people who make up our health system.  I may not be special, but I'm bloody lucky. Fingers crossed I’ll stay well enough for a bit of writing - but bear with me if I don't.

Anyway.  I always hoped that, if this moment came, I would have a strong second line on my test.  Not some faint little prissy line, like I wasn't really committing.  And I delivered.  Look at it.  It's beautiful.