No bigots were harmed in the making of this post, but I'll try harder next time

I am proud to live in Upper Hutt. People don't always understand this, and they ask me why. I reply, "Because I've also lived in Lower Hutt".

But there are times I'm a little less proud.

To celebrate Pride - a cause that's dear to my heart - the Upper Hutt City Council have painted the steps of the council building the colours of the rainbow. Most of the citizenry are good with it, as people broadly comfortable in the 21st century.

But some aren't, and they've posed some excellent questions on the community Facebook page. To aid their understanding, I've helpfully prepared a Q&A.

What follows are actual comments from the debate, used without the permission of the authors, for the simple reason that I don't give a ****.

Q: "It looks tacky and undignified."

A: Honestly, don't worry, Tim. No one could ever take away the dignity of Upper Hutt. No one.

Q: "wheres the #superstraight support at"

A: Ask your mum, Mike. Probably in the drawer by your PJs with the trucks on them, you pissbaby.

Q: "So can I get a refund on my council rates and taxes for this week then? I want my money to go towards fixing the roading and infrastructure not paint on steps"

A: Good call, Raewyn. I don't know the going rate for a reservoir, but it's GOT to be less than ten litres from Resene.

Q: "why do the non straight geta claim the rainbow"

A: Because us straights have got a whole bunch of other meteorological phenomena to choose from. Like tornados and shit. Dry your eyes, Tania.

Q: "What a waste of paint"

A: WHO WILL THINK OF THE PAINT? (Spoiler: Nikki)

Q: "Work safe need to look at this, it’s a trip hazard".

A: Fair point, Sharon. That multi-colour shiz is kinda trippy.

Q: "When will they paint the steps for straight pride?"

A: Dean, if you need to prove your masculinity by painting stuff, I can maybe help you out. My front fence definitely needs work: nothing would demonstrate your virility like a couple of coats. You could even pay for the paint too if you wanted - that would be VERY heterosexual. Of course, you'll need to sand before you paint. Thoroughly. There's lichen and shit. But I know a red-blooded man like you will ... rise to the challenge. PM me, honey.

But, seriously. Someone in the Council made this call. They wanted to stand by our Upper Hutt rainbow whānau. They knew what was coming: the vitriol, the insults. And they bloody did it anyway.

Because, actually, this place I live is kinda cool. I saw it as I scrolled. For every one who moaned, thirty embraced. Maybe we've gotten sick of being told what a small town can or can't be. Maybe we're casting off the tired stereotypes, showing who we really are at heart.

Pride in Upper Hutt? Damn straight.

__________

PS. Real names not used. No bigots were harmed in the making of this post, but I'll try harder next time.