Thought for the day, 31 January 2023

I'm so delighted that Campbell Johnstone has told the world he's gay - the first All Black to do so. What I'm ambivalent about is some of the responses. Not the homophobic ones: my response to them is pretty straightforward. It's some of the others.

I've seen a lot of comments that say who cares, your identity doesn't matter, this isn't news, rugby's for everyone, we're all equal, let's get on with it.

Most of these comments are coming from a place of kindness. They're trying to express acceptance: that we've moved to a world where everyone's welcome. I see the kindness, but I'm questioning the assumptions. I may be the mum of the least-likely-to-be-an-All-Black rainbow child that was ever born (love you son) but I still feel like I know the score.

I love the impulse to include, the goodheartedness behind it. But in answer to the 'who cares' bit, well, I do.

Rugby, sport more broadly, plainly isn't for everyone yet. If it was, we wouldn't be celebrating our first gay All Black in 2023. Downplaying what Johnstone has done, even with the best of intentions, glosses over the barriers that are still there - the statistic on the news tonight that 80% of gay teens playing sport won't tell their teammates. (I suspect there are no statistics to tell us how many fearful rainbow kids drop out of sport altogether.)

And downplaying what Johnstone has done fails to recognise his great courage. The courage that must have carried him at every point in his career, from the first schoolboy match he ever played - no doubt carrying feelings of shame as well as a fear of being found out - to the deep breath he took a couple of days ago, before he told us all who he is.

My guess is, Campbell didn't do this for shits and giggles. He did it because there are still young people who need our help and support. There are still barriers we need to smash. Note the 'we'. This is a team sport.

There will never be a sporting world equal enough for my own rainbow kid, as long as they make playing rugby a prerequisite for the All Blacks. But maybe we can level the playing field just a little.

Maybe we don't say you're gay, who cares. Instead we could say, you're gay, you love rugby, so thanks for bringing your rad and courageous self, every dimension of you, to the game.

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